While I was scrolling through Twitter a few days ago, I came across a post of a BL manga. A young boy and his older sister were talking about the fact he writes BL manga. When she mentions that her friend assumed he might be gay, she immediately shuts it down and says he's not "like that". The boy was taken aback by that reaction because his sister reads BL stories and was the one to introduce him to BL. He asks what would she say if he were "like that" and she responds by saying if it wasn't for a fictional story then he should "cut it out".

I thought the topic of homophobia and fujoshis was an interesting one to explore, so I looked for the manga title: "Comic Party Wonder Love". It was about 4 volumes so I read it in one sitting that same (school) night. Honestly, it was way more comedic than I expected. It focused on Raizo, an adult full-time, successful BL mangaka and his relationship with struggling BL mangaka, TOS. I loved TOS's character! He's such an awkward person, but HE'S SOOO CUTE when he's with Raizo. Overall, it was a fun short story with silly characters. However, I think this was too comedic for MY taste as I usually prefer more emotional moments between the characters. 7/10.

Finally did a big update on this website! I've been so busy with college that it doesn't really leave time for website upkeeping. I would feel a bit guilty for not updating as often but then someone's blog post reminded me that this isn't social media and I don't need to update as often. With that being said, I am going to make time to work on this website but I'm going to do it at my own pace.

As I mentioned in my About Me section, I am a Mexican-American. In my case, I was born to Mexican parents and raised in the United States. Because I grew up in the United States, I never properly became fluent in Spanish despite it being the language my parents spoke.

Two semesters ago, I took an intermediate Spanish course. I did have to learn some of the grammar on my own, but this course helped me improve my comprehension and writing skills overall. After that, I stuck to taking STEM classes since I’m a Mathematics and Computer Science double major. However, since I didn’t talk to people here in Spanish, I was losing the progress I made.

That’s when I decided to read books in Spanish. I wanted to start off with short stories first. Eventually I settled on Carmen Maria Machado’s short story collection Su cuerpo y ortas fiestas. It’s definitely going to take a bit long to read it, but the struggle is good.

So for now, I’m going to put ERHA on pause. Besides, I think I’m going to start Vol. 2 from the beginning because it’s been a while since I last read it. I’ll continue to read Basara though.

I deleted TikTok and Twitter a few weeks ago. Part of my depression episodes have to do with the fact that I relied on social media to keep me chained and "safe". With it deleted, I have more time to do things I actually want to do. For example, updating this website! I also want to improve on my writing. As a kid, I loved writing short stories. They never really went anywhere. I posted two of them on Wattpad years ago (now taken down), but I enjoyed writing it.

I talked about it in therapy before, but I think I do yearn for an outlet for creativity. All I do is scroll mindlessly and do coursework. I need a balance if I want to be more happier. Maybe I'll start writing short stories in my blog posts.

New Year! I'm currently writing a longer blog post reflecting over 2025 and what I look forward to in 2026. But being back on my college campus, I find myself scared again. I hit rock bottom in my academic career. I failed a class for the first time. I knew it was coming, so I mentally prepared myself for the news. Yet, I didn't prepare myself for the aftermath. I don't know how to face this new semester. I don't want to give up yet. I know in the grand scheme of things, it's not the end of the world to fail a class. However, I'm a low income, first generation college student. This could affect my financial aid for next year. I just need one more year to graduate, yet this one failure could make me lose it all.

I hear that it's normal for people to take longer to finish school, but I don't have the luxary. I can't afford more than 4 years. Everything is riding on this semester. Maybe I needed this pressure. Maybe I needed a reality check. Yet, I keep lying to everyone that I'm okay. I keep telling people what I think they want to hear, but I have to stop doing that. Tomorrow, although I'm so scared and anxious, I'm meeting with my advisor. It's time I stop pretending and hiding. Friday I start therapy again, so hopefully that helps.

I was listening to my liked music playlist in shuffle mode, which has almost all the songs I've ever liked since middle school, and Twenty One Pilots started playing. Specifically, "Hometown" from the Blurryface album. I was about 13 years old when I first listened to the Blurryface album. I remembered how much those songs impacted me at the time and how much they meant to me. I started looking at other songs from the 2010s that I remember loving and that's when I stubbled upon Echosmith's song "Cool Kids".

I first listened to this song when I was about 9 years old. I think this song was the first song that actually made an emotionally impact on me. When I heard this song, I felt so seen. I wasn't as social as my peers. I was fatter than most kids. I was the butt of the joke when boys would say their friend had a crush on me. I would look at the cool kids and think I wish I could be like them. It's silly but I still sort of feel like that sad lonely kid from elementry and middle shcool. I'm 21 and I'm finding myself relating to the same songs from a decade ago.

Realized I have been using social media, mainly Twitter, waaaay too much, so I decided to get back into reading books. I have started a lot of books these past few years and I haven't finished any of them. I most recently started "The Husky and His White Cat Shizun" (erha) during the summer, so I began with this series first. I had only gotten through volume 1 and started volume 2, so I thought it was best to reread volume 2 from the beginning.

Oh. My. God. I can't believe I forgot how much I was loving this series. Spoiler free but Chu Wanning and Mo Ran are breaking my heart (ㅠ﹏ㅠ) Usually, I hate how stories handle the misunderstanding trope but it's done so nicely here which only adds onto the angst. I've already gotten emotional about them but I know this is just the tip of the damn iceberg. Ahh I'm scared but excited!!